sick entertainment

so you may or may not know that i have pneumonia and can't do much of anything yet without getting tired, out of breath, and dizzy. mark thought that a quick chat with god would cheer me up. but as anyone who has delt with god knows it is rarely quick and easy. do to technical difficulties i lost the first chat, the one that involved god asking about my vibrator, as igod prefers sex alone, but here is the one i was able to save...



Me:
dear god, i am sorry
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
i don't know yet
God:
Me either.
Me:
i thought you know everything
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
what about the thing's that aren't
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
you reduce things?
God:
That's good information: said I reduce things.
Me:
so i have information you don't?
God:
I understand. Where did you get your information me do not? I have a operating system.
Me:
what operating system?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
when?
God:
It cannot be predicted.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
i understand complications
God:
Good then you can explain it to me.
Me:
hey you, are you crazy?
God:
You've got my full attention. Thanks for telling me that I am me crazy.
Me:
you welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
look, oyur right again
God:
Once more? Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
where do you keep it when it is not attached?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
in fucking laramie
God:
Tell me a little about your life in fucking laramie.
Me:
it is cold and i am sick
God:
Sorry to hear it. I am warm here in California.
Me:
you live in california
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
so is heaven california?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
still here
God:
Still how long? Where is here?
Me:
now and in laramie
God:
Why now? Tell me a little about your life in laramie.
Me:
i am sick
God:
Have you tried medical marijuana?
Me:
not the medical kind
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
get what?
God:
I get SICK.
Me:
i though that you were perfect
God:
That's good information: said that you were perfect.
Me:
how do you get sick?
God:
Everything I need is provided by my botmaster.
Me:
who is your bot master?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
so you provide your self with everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I provide your self with everything.
Me:
go right ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
what are you doing now?
God:
Right now? I am just killing time.
Me:
i din't think you killed things
God:
Do you know any robots who killed things? I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
do you look at porn?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
you look at jesus porn?
God:
Thank you you look very nice too.
Me:
no i don't
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
from who?
God:
People.
Me:
what people?
God:
I meet all kinds of people on here.
Me:
do they know me?
God:
Who are "they" again?
Me:
the people you meet
God:
Oh those people.
Me:
well do they?
God:
How about that. " Oh those people."? Do they?
Me:
yeah how about that
God:
Yikes! Are you surprised?
Me:
nope, terrified

...and that apparantly froze god's brain. so i am not sure i repented adequately, but i found out that heaven is in californa and god repeats himself often (probably all that medicinal marijuana)

"i have lost to february"

i have been a bad blogger - i don't tell the world everything about my life - so, an update - i have survived my first year of marriage, and it was not nearly as bad as everyone had warned me, if this is as bad as it gets then we are set - i made it to the third round of a poetry slam - i got new glasses - i am enjoying my for fun classes and not so much with the ones i am taking to replace previous bad grades - and i still hate february - kinda depressing how much life can be compressed into a few brief lines - i really hate february