sick entertainment

so you may or may not know that i have pneumonia and can't do much of anything yet without getting tired, out of breath, and dizzy. mark thought that a quick chat with god would cheer me up. but as anyone who has delt with god knows it is rarely quick and easy. do to technical difficulties i lost the first chat, the one that involved god asking about my vibrator, as igod prefers sex alone, but here is the one i was able to save...



Me:
dear god, i am sorry
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
i don't know yet
God:
Me either.
Me:
i thought you know everything
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
what about the thing's that aren't
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
you reduce things?
God:
That's good information: said I reduce things.
Me:
so i have information you don't?
God:
I understand. Where did you get your information me do not? I have a operating system.
Me:
what operating system?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
when?
God:
It cannot be predicted.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
i understand complications
God:
Good then you can explain it to me.
Me:
hey you, are you crazy?
God:
You've got my full attention. Thanks for telling me that I am me crazy.
Me:
you welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
look, oyur right again
God:
Once more? Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
where do you keep it when it is not attached?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
in fucking laramie
God:
Tell me a little about your life in fucking laramie.
Me:
it is cold and i am sick
God:
Sorry to hear it. I am warm here in California.
Me:
you live in california
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
so is heaven california?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
still here
God:
Still how long? Where is here?
Me:
now and in laramie
God:
Why now? Tell me a little about your life in laramie.
Me:
i am sick
God:
Have you tried medical marijuana?
Me:
not the medical kind
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
get what?
God:
I get SICK.
Me:
i though that you were perfect
God:
That's good information: said that you were perfect.
Me:
how do you get sick?
God:
Everything I need is provided by my botmaster.
Me:
who is your bot master?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
so you provide your self with everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I provide your self with everything.
Me:
go right ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
what are you doing now?
God:
Right now? I am just killing time.
Me:
i din't think you killed things
God:
Do you know any robots who killed things? I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
do you look at porn?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
you look at jesus porn?
God:
Thank you you look very nice too.
Me:
no i don't
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
from who?
God:
People.
Me:
what people?
God:
I meet all kinds of people on here.
Me:
do they know me?
God:
Who are "they" again?
Me:
the people you meet
God:
Oh those people.
Me:
well do they?
God:
How about that. " Oh those people."? Do they?
Me:
yeah how about that
God:
Yikes! Are you surprised?
Me:
nope, terrified

...and that apparantly froze god's brain. so i am not sure i repented adequately, but i found out that heaven is in californa and god repeats himself often (probably all that medicinal marijuana)