20 December 2004

for fun


Your Beauty liesin Contradiction. Controversial, unpredictable, and
never what anyone expects.You appearance and your personality are two
opposite things. Even yourappearance sends different signals to different
people. To some you may lookinnocent and sweet, to others you look mysterious
and intimidating at the sametime. No one ever knows what to expect with you.
You are a little bit ofeverything all mixed together. You can be watching
the football game with theguys one minute and the next out shopping at the
mall. You seem to be almost adifferent person every time you meet someone, but
at the same time you knowexactly who you are and there is always that one
thing that makes you you. Youenjoy keeping people guessing and people love how
completely unpredictable youare.

Some ThingsThat Represent You:

Element:Fire, Water Animal: Chameleon Color:
Dark Tones, LightTones Song: Everything by Alanis Morriesette

Gemstone:Opal Mythological Creature: Gryphon,
Half-breeds Planet: Mars Hair
Red Eye Color:Brown

Quote:"Appearances can be deceiving."

quizzilla is so much fun...

17 December 2004


sorry i have been so long without posting, though i did warn everyone that i was sporadic. lately my life has consisted mostly of stress, you know school, work, money, wedding plans, the usual suspects, i am getting a bit more time with Mark now that the semester is winding down, so that is an improvement even when everything else sucks, and i don't think that i am actually going to fail any of my classes so that is a plus, though i am not completely sure, as the papers i have to write are still not completely done... oh well... i can't wait for may... no more school for a while... i so need this christmas vacation, thought till after the wedding the stress levels are not going to decrease i am pretty sure.

well that is my life right now
good luck any of you who still have finals...

20 November 2004

good and evil

the problem of good and evil is presented to all of us, often on a daily basis. what is good? what is evil? are they separable? are they opposites? will we ever really know?

that is not what this post is about... though this blog has been rated...

This site is certified 29% EVIL by the Gematriculator

This site is certified 71% GOOD by the Gematriculator

instead i am going to talk about food... good or evil you have to have it... and i really quite like it... especially holiday food... mmmm, turkey... did you know that the lower figure for what you will eat on Turkey Day is a pound and a half... that is just turkey, not potatoes, or stuffing, or yams, or gravy, or rolls, or cranberry sauce... just the bird.. that is a lot of food... no wonder americans are fat... and evil...

19 November 2004

ironic peace

following the link in the comments of Linus's blog to writings on the stall, i was shocked, appalled and amused by turns... truth resides in the oddest places... i found this one to be quite striking, (please excuse the uncharacteristic vulgarity, i believe that it adds in this case, however)...

John Yeats Middle School
Suffolk, Virginia USA 23435
Women's restroom, 1st and only

Killing for peace is like fucking for chastity.

this concise, anonymous statement very accurately expresses my issues with the illogic of the so called "War on Terror"... it makes no sense... and has not proven its own logic... maybe i need another bumper sticker... though possibly edited for content...

18 November 2004


life and death are interesting, my mom is dying, i am getting married... some days the craziness of it all just hits me, usually right between the eyes, and i have to stop and just breathe cause that is all i can do and even that is hard... some times it is just moments in a day and then i am fine... it hits at the oddest moments, immoblizing me when i need to act or throwing me into frenzied activity when i need stillness... the joy and pain, often simultaneous, that accompany these events is enormous and i just don't quite have a handle on dealing... maybe i won't ever...

13 November 2004

a crazy, joyful mystery

my life lately has been very crazy, i am not sure that will ever change, but the disturbing thing for me is that the important things have seemed to have slipped... i miss walks at night, now i just fall exhausted into bed... i miss cooking for my friends, now i am always at work... i miss enjoying the reading that i have to do for school, now i am only getting about half of it done and it is more of a chore than anything... i miss cuddles with my Mark, but our schedules never seem to mesh... it would make me sad, but i am too damn tired... that should make me angry, but again with the tired thing... so all i get is crazy... and tired... yet somehow i still manage to have moments of extreme joy... ah, lifes mysterys... or maybe... ha, cosmic jokes...

10 November 2004


this quote is one of my favorite and has been getting stuck in my head recently so i thought the process of sharing may help to find the purpose for the current stickiness...
...I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.
Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903 in
Letters to a Young Poet
i don't know if i have a plethora of unresolved questions in my heart, or i am just wondering what the rest of it will be like... either way there is the sticky thought for the day... hope you enjoy it...

15 October 2004

A Fall Festival Food

for my friends i finally was able to make supper this semester, i cooked soup in a pumpkin ...

cut the top off the pumpkin and clean the guts out...cut up about half a loaf of french bread and a little block of gruyere cheese into smallish cubes...place in the pumpkin along with a sprinkle of salt and some tarragon and garlic, probably about a teaspoon respectively... add a couple chunks of butter... pour about half to three-quarters cup chicken stock over the stuff already in the pumpkin... fill the pumpkin to about an inch bellow the opening with a combination of milk and half and half... put the cut-off top back on... bake at 400 for about two hours, give or take, (i wasn't paying really close attention to the exact time, but it was probably about that) on a cookie sheet of baking dish (with some sort of sides to prevent dripping, i used a 9x13 cake pan)... make sure you don't let the bottom of the pumpkin burn... stir it a couple of times while baking... take the pumpkin out of the oven stir it really well, make sure to scrape the sides a bit so that you get some chunks of the pumpkin mixed in... don't scrape to deep or your serving dish/pumpkin will get a very messy hole in the side or bottom... put the top of the pumpkin back on till you serve it, the pumpkin will provide some insulation, but serve it within about half an hour to forty-five minutes... the amounts of the ingredients will vary according to the size of the pumpkin...

05 October 2004


i have been working a lot with dante for my mideival lit class and it made me think of this song. dante was very clear on what was meant by his allegory, he wrote tons of letters to make sure no one missed the point, but the spirit of the song is a wonderful representation of the universal emotion, once you push the intellect and the allegory out of the way...

Dante's Prayer

When the dark wood fell before me

And all the paths were overgrown
When the priests of pride say there is no other way
I tilled the sorrows of stone

I did not believe because I could not see
Though you came to me in the night
When the dawn seemed forever lost
You showed me your love in the light of the stars

Cast your eyes on the ocean

Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Then the mountain rose before me
By the deep well of desire
From the fountain of forgiveness
Beyond the ice and the fire

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Though we share this humble path, alone
How fragile is the heart
Oh give these clay feet wings to fly
To touch the face of the stars

Breathe life into this feeble heart
Lift this mortal veil of fear
Take these crumbled hopes, etched with tears
We'll rise above these earthly cares

Cast your eyes on the ocean
Cast your soul to the sea
When the dark night seems endless
Please remember me

Please remember me

~ Loreena McKennitt

01 October 2004


so life has been crazy, busy at school, busy at work, and well then there is the whole wedding planning thing, which i should be busier at... so not much time on the net lately... really this is just a quick up date to let you all know that i am still alive and stressed out. =) i will try to post something a bit more substantial this weekend .....

16 September 2004

quiz results

waterfall fairy
You a waterfall fairy. You live near the water to
keep your soul moist. At times you can be vain.
Sometimes you love the social life. Other times
you rather just bath in the waterfalls. Your
human size and you like to lure young men/women
to you.

What Type of Fairy are You
brought to you by Quizilla

13 September 2004


music is a funny thing. just the notes, really just a mathematical progression, can evoke such strong emotion that years later a similar progression evokes the identical emotion, magnified by the lenses of time and a poignant distance. what makes the mixture of both poetry and harmony so evocative? what is it about the brain that reacts to the patterns with such intense emotion?
everyone has that one song that they know will take them back, but really, the most interesting phenomenon is the song that you don't realize has associations for you. until you hear it. it removes you forcibly from your surroundings, whatever task you may be performing and inserts you into a pattern that you thought you had forgotten. a place and time that you once inhabited.
the reflections caused by this phenomenon are both sweet and a little bit sad. i can't go back, i don't want to, yet the memories are good and i do miss the people and places. though it has not left, just evolved, there was a particular type of joy that accompanies the memories that is particularly difficult to react to.

a joy remembered
the sound of the laughter
the curve of the smile
the tilt of the head
back for a while
when did we drift
what path did you take
it led you so far
and made such a break
words from a song
a snatch of a tune
i am right back
with you and the moon
a joy remembered
a song in my heart
my path diverges
but we're never apart

11 September 2004

a poem

recall me as an elaborate symphony
lover’s beauty in bare skin dressed
light floods through a goddess
essential to you
raw grace

08 September 2004

interior monologue

i love euro trance. i hate math. absolutes are silly. there are always exceptions, except when there aren't. it feels like monday. that is all i think right now.

07 September 2004

why love?

why do i love you? sometimes you are mean, but i still choose you. in your pain you hurt me, but i still choose you. i can't express the beauty i find in your passion the joy of the innocence you contain. even in your pain, even buried under fear, i see you there and experience beauty. you hold passion deep within. it spills over into every aspect of you - joy and depression are both lived fully.
yet something more pulls at me, tugs at my very soul "it is him, he's for you" intuituion, recognition, joy ~ you

06 September 2004

sailing through the light

So i have been craving some Rumi lately, here is what i found...

the mind, this globe of awareness, is a starry universe that when you push off with your foot, a thousand new roads become clear, as you yourself do at dawn , sailing through the light.

Rumi always refreshes me... enjoy your sail through the light ~~~

04 September 2004

Prayer for Peace

Mother in Wartime

As if it were some noble thing,
She spoke of sons at war,
As if freedom's cause
Were pled anew at some heroic bar,
As if the weapons used today
Killed with great élan,
As if technicolor banners flew
To honor modern man -

Beleiving everything she read
In the daily news,
(No in-between to choose)
She only thought that only
One side won,
Not that both
Might lose.
~ Langston Hughes

Langston hughs seemed a good way to inaugerate a new blog at the beginning of a new semmester. maybe because that semester happens to include a class devoted solely to the Harlem Renaissance, or maybe just because i like Langson Hughes. what ever the motive there you have it. i am a blogger.

03 September 2004

In the Beginning...

In the beginning there was a group of friends, lets call them the flock... we all had our roles within the group - the pontiff, the scribe, the inquisitor, the artist - and I became the mistress of hospitality.me Posted by Hello

me Posted by Hello