Love and stuff...

So, I've been thinking about this for weeks and weeks... love... how does that work... I get that it's a chemical reaction in our brains... but if that's all it is, it seems like it should make more sense than it does...

Flowers and Concrete I

... in that serendipitous, things-come-together sort of way, I started thinking about it a few days before I read this blog post (go read it - it's short, beautiful, and to my eventual point)... it was linked off another blog, one that I don't always read, and rarely follow links off of, even when I do read it... I felt like it was one of those universe-conspiring-to-hit-me-over-the-head moments, but one that I didn't know what to do with once I was hit... and yet I've returned to it again... and again...

It had come on the heels of several deep conversations with good friends about my relationship status (in general, not with them)... I know and appreciate that I have these amazing relationships where I can talk about the crazy and the serious, the world-changing and the fluffy marshmallow filling, too...

And I know that I do love... I love my friends, my sisters, the family I've made out of mismatched, crazy, never-should-have-worked friendships... it may not be "traditional" love, and certainly, it's not always expressed in traditional ways - I just can't seem to do that, the traditional love. The normal love. The expected love... but it's real... and big... and deep... and sometimes so incredibly painful... and just love... but different...

So that makes me wonder is there is something missing in me, something that makes love work like it's supposed to... maybe my chemicals are messed up, or combine differently... so the random blog post by a random stranger - one I've never encountered before, and might not again, even on the internet because I don't follow her blog - speaks so exactly to how I've been thinking about love...

Flowers and Concrete II

I still don't know what to do with it...