summer reading...

While we are on the subject of reading i thought i would talk a bit about summer reading... it is that time of year after all... and as i know there are foodies in the small readership that i have here, i thought i would start with a food book... Two for the Road by Jane & Michael Stern is a memoir with a fun look at travel and american food, including: shopping for souvenirs in maximum security prison gift shops ... enrolling in bull-riding school taught by a rodeo champ ... feeling no pain in the drinkingest bar in the West ... ceremonial burial of pants that suddenly don't fit any more ... trying to dispose of the foulest food in the history of travel ... and much more...


If you are looking for something a little more serious, try God is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything by Christopher Hitchens... i have not read it, but i plan on getting a copy as soon as the publisher reprints it - it is so popular that the first printing has sold out...





And for those of you who know me, you know that no summer reading list would be complete without a little romance... Nora Roberts' new full-length hardcover, High Noon, comes out July 10th and i can hardly wait... just 'cause i own all her books does not mean i am obsessed, just loyal...




What will you be reading this summer?

advice to those who live with book lovers...

It is our belief that bookworms are born, not made. You know who we mean. The kid who sneaks in a paragraph when Mom’s back is turned. The child who devises an elaborate under-the-covers flashlight system because when it comes to sleep versus finishing a chapter, well, sleep isn’t all that important. The one who, despite her parents’ vehement arguments to the contrary, believes that reading outside is playing.

True bookworms are rare. If you are unfortunate enough to live with one, we’re sorry. All we can do is assure you that there’s nothing that can be done. There is no twelve-step program to cure reading addiction. You can try to take away the books. It’s a waste of your time and energy, but we won’t stop your fruitless endeavor. You’ll learn. Those stacks of books are a book lover’s security blanket. They are important. (Booksquare)

so you see there is really no advice to be had, just acceptance... love us for who we are =)

in other news...

so a bit of an update on the grad school front - i have been awarded a full time tuition waiver - this award will make grad school about 90% less stressful as i will not be constantly worried about money, or at least not as worried about money anyway...


on the literature front i have become re-enamored with the snarkiness that is Anthony Bourdain - currently i am loving the nasty bits, a delightfully jaded look at life, travel and food - three of my best things - his voice is fabulous and, well, snarky, and as those who know me will attest, snark is also one of my best things - it is the perfect book for me =)

too cool not to try it...

abra, then mandy, now me... who will be next?

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Grad School

I am going to grad school... while i am only on the alternate list for assistantships, i did get accepted... so i talked to jim and i will be working in the computer labs at least to start with... though i would love to get a benefited job... we'll see what happens... so this summer i will be moving again... bleh... oh well the end result is i am back in laramie and furthering my education, which will lead to exciting things like higher pay scale and more marketability... but mostly i am just excited to read and chat about lit again, and see my sisters on a regular basis... juggling mark's jobs in nevada and resulting living arrangements might be interesting, but it's what we planned to do if i had gone last fall, and this way we have had a chance to make it all a little more affordable, economically and emotionally... so it's back to school for me...

pink ...

so i was catching up on my blog reading and one of my favorite authors, Jenny Crusie, had responded to a new york times op/ed piece by Maureen Dowd... not wanting to be onesided, i had to go find the peice and read it...

Heels Over Hemingway
By Maureen Dowd
The New York Times

I was cruising through Borders, looking for a copy of “Nostromo.”

Suddenly I was swimming in pink. I turned frantically from display table to display table, but I couldn’t find a novel without a pink cover. I was accosted by a sisterhood of cartoon women, sexy string beans in minis and stilettos, fashionably dashing about book covers with the requisite urban props — lattes, books, purses, shopping bags, guns and, most critically, a diamond ring.

Was it a Valentine’s Day special?

No, I realized with growing alarm, chick lit was no longer a niche. It had staged a coup of the literature shelves. Hot babes had shimmied into the grizzled old boys’ club, the land of Conrad, Faulkner and Maugham. The store was possessed with the devil spawn of “The Devil Wears Prada.” The blood-red high heel ending in a devil’s pitchfork on the cover of the Lauren Weisberger best seller might as well be driving a stake through the heart of the classics.

I even found Sylvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar” with chick-lit pretty-in-pink lettering.

“Penis lit versus Venus lit,” said my friend Leon Wieseltier, the literary editor of The New Republic, who was with me. “An unacceptable choice.”

“Looking for Mr. Goodbunny” by Kathleen O’Reilly sits atop George Orwell’s “1984.” “Mine Are Spectacular!” by Janice Kaplan and Lynn Schnurnberger hovers over “Ulysses.” Sophie Kinsella’s “Shopaholic” series cuddles up to Rudyard Kipling.

Even Will Shakespeare is buffeted by rampaging 30-year-old heroines, each one frantically trying to get their guy or figure out if he’s the right guy, or if he meant what he said, or if he should be with them instead of their BFF or cousin, or if he’ll come back, or if she’ll end up stuck home alone eating Häagen-Dazs and watching “CSI” and “Sex and the City” reruns.

Trying to keep up with soap-opera modernity, “Romeo and Juliet” has been reissued with a perky pink cover.

There are subsections of chick lit: black chick lit (“Diva Diaries”), Bollywood chick lit (“Salaam, Paris”), Jewish chick lit (“The J.A.P. Chronicles” and “The Matzo Ball Heiress”) and assistant lit, which has its own subsection of Hollywood-assistant lit (“The Second Assistant”), mystery lit (“Sex, Murder and a Double Latte”), shopping lit (“Retail Therapy”), the self-loathing genre (“This Is Not Chick Lit”) and Brit chick lit (“Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging”).

The narrator of that last, Georgia, begins with a note to her readers: “Hello, American-type chums! (Perhaps you say ‘Howdy’ in America — I don’t know — but then I’m not really sure where Tibet is either, or my lipstick.) ... I hope you like my diary and don’t hold it against me that my great-great-great-grandparents colonized you. (Not just the two of them. ...).”

Giving the books an even more interchangeable feeling is the bachelorette party of log-rolling blurbs by chick-lit authors. Jennifer “Good in Bed” Weiner blurbs Sarah Mlynowski’s “Me vs. Me” and Karen McCullah Lutz’s “The Bachelorette Party.” Lauren Weisberger blurbs Emily “Something Borrowed” Giffin.

I took home three dozen of the working women romances. They can lull you into a hypnotic state with their simple life lessons — one heroine emulated Doris Day, another Audrey Hepburn, one was the spitting image of Carolyn Bessette, another Charlize Theron — but they’re a long way from Becky Sharp and Elizabeth Bennet. They’re all chick and no lit.

Please do not confuse these books with the love-and-marriage of Jane Austen. These are more like multicultural Harlequin romances. They’re Cinderella bodice rippers — Manolo trippers — girls with long legs, long shiny hair and sparkling eyes stumbling through life, eating potato skins loaded with bacon bits and melted swiss, drinking cocktails, looking for the right man and dispensing nuggets of hard-won wisdom, like, “Any guy who can watch you hurl Cheez Doodles is a keeper,” and, “You can’t puke in wicker. It leaks.”

In the 19th century in America, people often linked the reading of novels with women. Women were creatures of sensibility, and men were creatures of action. But now, Leon suggested, American fiction seems to be undergoing a certain re-feminization.

“These books do not seem particularly demanding in the manner of real novels,” Leon said. “And when we’re at war and the country is under threat, they seem a little insular. America’s reading women could do a lot worse than to put down ‘Will Francine Get Her Guy?’ and pick up ‘The Red Badge of Courage.’ ”

The novel was once said to be a mirror of its times. In my local bookstore, it’s more like a makeup mirror.

now, having read the column, i can defintely say that i am offended by her dumbness, and thought a response at this date may seem some what belated i cannot just let it slide, maybe because i am a participant in the so-called "re-feminization" ... although i am not sure you can have a re- without actually having been feminized in the first place, and, as a culture, that did not happen in spite of what second wave feminists may think... i think that this pinking (and i want to go an record as saying i hate the color pink) of the covers is a male marketer's response to books that they don't know how to categorize anymore - they are not traditional romance or memoir - they are written by women and we want women to buy them so let's make them pink - i think that the rant should have been about the poor marketing, rather than a criticism of book she hasn't taken the time to read... the more i hang out on authors' blogs, the more i realize that you can't judge a book by it's cover, because the content isn't how the cover is chosen, marketing is...

apparently the anger genrated by this column was not just on the part of us poor, misguided women readers who have made this state of affairs come to be (by buying and reading books)... of the many letters the times must have recieved in response, they published ones from a sociaology professor, "So just let us girls read anything we want. Some of these girls may still grow up to be college professors.", an independent bookseller, "People who make the decision to spend their money in the large chain stores instead of in New York's few remaining independent bookstores bring about the much-lamented demise of the culture they claim to want.", and a father supporting his daughter's reading, "Turns out, there are bad pink books. There are good and bad books of every color."... none of the letters seemed to agree with ms. dowd's point of view... some other responses were: Booksquare and Fearless Voices ... others posted the article with no comments, so maybe they agree with what she has to say, but it seems to me that the general consensus is that pink does not, in fact, give you cooties, but sometimes it gives you a good read...

evil...

How evil are you?

I took it twice - same response - i am angelic

so, february

in january, i was really excited, doing well with the blog, posting at least once a week almost thought it was time to talk to linus and see about moving up to the category of "The Redeemed, Who Post Often"... and then it was february...

this february hit me hard with homesickness, uncertainty of the future, testing (stupid GRE), and general blahness... so i burrowed - into books, naps, and general away-ness from everything that was not completely unavoidable... not an uncommon reaction to february, for me at least... i really hate february and i am glad to say that it is almost over...

my february has ended on a nice note, however... i am now employed at a second job here in elko - the bookstore... the people are friendly and the scheduling is flexible and can we say "yay for employee discounts!"... so while february has inflicted its regular damage on the surface of my soul, i have managed to survive and triumph over the blighted month once more...

looking forward to march...

a little bit nervous

it is official... i have applied to grad school... i sent my stuff... on time... now i have to wait... and i am a little bit nervous... the way the pope is a little bit catholic... the way iraq is a little bit muslim... the way republicans are a little bit greedy... the way democrats are a little bit idealistic... the thing is there are a few bits of my application materials which give me cause to be a little bit nervous... my grades were somewhat less than stellar in some cases, leaving me with a less than ideal gpa... also i have no idea what was said in my letters of rec... i didn't even know that one of them was done until the english department contacted me to tell me what i still needed to turn in... and i won't know until april... i hate waiting... i hate rejection... and i am a little bit nervous... but i sent the application anyway...

YAY!

Happy Birthday To Me!!

yes today we celebrate the fact that Tessa was born... we also look back a other important events in history....
1649 - England's Charels I was beheaded by the Cromwellians
1798 - The first brawl in the U.S. House of Representatives was witnessed by legislators. Congressmen Matthew Lyon and Roger Griswold duked it out right there on the House floor.
1882 - FDR was born, as were Anton Checkhov(1860), Vanessa Redgrave(1937), Norma Jean (1938), and Dick Cheney(1941)
1933 - Hitler was named Chancellor of Germany
1948 - Gandhi was assassinated
1958 - Yves Saint Laurent, at age 22, held his first major fashion show in Paris.
1968 - The Tet Offensive began as Communist forces launched surprise attacks against South Vietnamese provincial capitals.
1969 - The Beatles last public appearance
1972 - Bloody Sunday in Northern Ireland. British soldiers shot and killed thirteen Roman Catholic civil rights marchers.
1994 - Peter Leko became the world's youngest-ever grand master in chess.
2005 - For the first time in more than 50 years Iraq held free elections. At least 44 people were killed in several attacks on polling stations throughout the country.

overall i have to say there is a lotta bad stuff that went down on this venerable day... some cool stuff, but mostly bad... and i am not sure if sharing a birthday with FDR makes up for sharing one with Cheney...

a musical love

i have recently discovered a new artist, one with whom i have fallen completely in love... madeleine peyroux can provide the soundtrack for my life indefinitely... her voice and a cup of oolong and my afternoon is perfect... i don't even need a book, and that is saying quite a bit if you know me... it is a musical love

2007

so i really don't care for new year's resolutions (and if i were to make one it would probably be at a more significant time of the year than the calender new year) but there are a few things about 2007 that i am looking forward to:

~ online writing workshop with one of my favorite writers, jennifer crusie, for free.

~ applying for grad school - and hopefully returning to laramie to attend in the fall.

~ yoga classes (or at least pilates, depending on cost and avalibility)

~ my job as an english tutor.

~ writing (more than i have been)

i hope that these things are as exciting in reality as they are in plan.

what do you hope to do in 2007?

Happy Yuletide!

From the beginning, the end comes.
From rest, movement comes.
From life, death comes.
From light, darkness comes.
From darkness comes light.
From death comes life.
From movement comes rest.
From the end comes the beginning.

Blessed Be!

for the past month or so, my internet has been completely retarded, i can barely stay connected long enough to check my email - and sometimes not even that - it seems to be working again, so hopefully i will be back to posting - every so often anyway... yay for connectivity

pop quiz...

dancing to david bowie in the middle of the living room... "let's dance"

what do YOU do when you're home alone?

OK

Nevada - it doesn't completely suck, but it will never be my favorite

this is so cool!

i have recently discovered this site and it is my new favorite thing.... bluebeat.com... you get to create playlists - it's kinda like making a radio station that only plays what you want... without having to buy the cds... after you have selected the songs albums and other playlists to go in your crate you just click on the listen and share option, and presto!... you have radio ... you can listen to yours or let someone else do the mixing... i like it a lot...

All Souls Day

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee. -John Donne

they are part of me ... their absence diminishes me...

so i remember...

Kathleen Marie Kostelc
Ethel Shenefelt
Donald D. Shenefelt, Jr.
Matthew Shepard
Marie Kostelc
Ralph Carson
Cathrine Carson

who do you remember?

DC/Virgina Highlights

so (finally) here are the highlights of my trip - the real highlight was seeing gina and watching christina discover the treasures of knowledge offered and making new friends ... but these are the more tangible highlights...


i really enjoyed the monuments and memorials - Jefferson and FDR were my favorites, both were amazing men - ahead of their times





the arrival of the Iraqi PM interrupted our tour of the monuments - there was all this build-up, ten minutes of waitingfor the helicopter, then it took about ten seconds for the eit and disappearance of the motorcade




the paddleboats were definitely one of my favorites

best paddleboating quote - gina: what is that weird thing on the side of that plane... oh, it's the wing




Mt. Vernon was facinating - the laundry room made me very thankful for the advances in technology =)





we also saw the hope diamond, but after looking at all the uncut gems in the geology display it was a bit of a let down... one thing i learned - there is no way to see it all - but we crammed quite a bit into our visit...

cause rachel did....

i was surprised by the accuracy of this test...

You Are a Soy Latte

At your best, you are: free spirited, down to earth, and relaxed At your worst, you are: dogmatic and picky You drink coffee when: you need a pick me up, and green tea isn't cutting it Your caffeine addiction level: medium

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

update

we have internet access at home now, and i am working on the photo posts, but i am having a really bad time getting them to load, and to go where they are supposed to, and to not disappear ... so if anyone has photo posting advice i would really appreciate it... cause i suck at it... i mean really suck... oh, and give me a call if you want our new home phone number, our cells are the same... blessed be

interlude in enlightenment

so the phone company - the only one in the elko area - messed up and we will not have a phone or internet until the 24th - so this post is not the pictures i planned and promised as i am grabbing some quick time at a coffeeshop .... instead of the pictures that are not ready to post anyway, i will leave you with some wisdom (?) from everyone's favorite guidebook author, Douglas Adams:

~He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

~He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

~Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

~I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

~In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

~It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

~It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.

~Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

~There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

~Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

~You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

~Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

~He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

~Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

~Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.

apologies

so i was really going to update before this but then there was the moving and the traveling and the lack of decent internet connections - the only place i can get wireless in elko is at a coffeeshop that is out by the walmart and i didn't have a car (notice the past tense there - YAY)... however, we will be getting internet some time in this next week and i should be back online - again with the YAY... that doesn't mean that i will be better at posting, but i will no longer have the copious excuses i’ve had for the past few months - i do have a ton of pictures to dump, both from my trip to visit gina in virginia and from our new place in elko - ugly orange paint will be going away - so watch for that over the next few weeks as i will be sorting and labeling as soon as i am back online...

so i guess the moral is this - please don't give up i really am planning on updating...

elko, nevada

some info on my (and mark's) future hometown...


like laramie, elko started as a railroad stop... quickly evolving into a mining town... still is a mining town...



today it looks a lot like most other nevada towns: western, with a bright, neon coating...


there are also apparently a lot of Basques in the area... the community college teaches Basque, there are at least three Basque restaurants, and there is a yearly Basque festival... with dancing Basques...
there are several pretty mountain things to do in the area around elko... you can take nevada route 225 north to Wild Horse Reservoir, Mountain City, and Owyhee - or to visit mark at the mine site...
now all i need to do is find a good coffee shop, yoga class, and check out the local library and it will be home... oh, and an appartment - and bank - and grocery store - and ... well anyway there is a lot to do before it's home...

music

i have always loved music from an audience and occasional choral perspective... my summer has been full of music... flock hall has exploded with musicians - linus, mark, ben are all guitar fanatics now and dan (of the f***ing amazing variety) plays a gazillion instruments so the jamming at our house has become an experience... i occasionally add vocals - but that is difficult when i don't know the song or they jam after my bed time or they are just being too weird... i am also taking a jazz history class... a type of music that i have always loved has become much more accessible and intimate to me... it enhances my other musical experiences... i am a better listener now, it is not just background noise... though i have to admit when linus practices fingering at 2am i do kinda tune it out... so enjoy what you are listening too... unless you are listening to five-year-old beginner violins... then maybe just try to appreciate what they are trying to do

Happy Solstice!

Welcome to the longest day of the year... have a picnic... go outside... bask in the glory of the sun at its height...give thanks for its warmth, its light... watch the sunset... reconnect with the earth... stay up late and catch faires... be blessed

Blessed Be...

signage

i was gonna do another food post, but then i found this and now i am not hungry any more... you have been warned.

so we don't have a perkins here in laramie, but if we did this could be what the sign would say...

i am not sure clowns are any less scary when they are cooked... but at least they are free... can't sleep- clowns'll eat me, can't sleep- clowns'll eat me, can't sleep- clowns'll eat me...

food, food, food

i have been on a food kick the past couple of days... my every thought has been about food it seems, or something to do with the kitchen - i organized my cookbooks and started sorting through loose recipes. last week i cooked indian food, yesterday i made chili (hot, hot, hot) and a jug of sweet tea (very cool) ... for lunch i made spaghetti with eggs, a recipe from a book i read - mark was not into it, but i really liked it ... tonite i made super tasty fish cakes and corn on the cob (too early for really good corn) and salad with bleu cheese... i have been reading the cooking magazines and a book called Cooking for Mr. Latte, which i loved... i am starting My Kitchen Wars, another food memoir, right after Dr. Who tonite, if i am still up... i think that i am going to make doughnuts in the morning... and i am having a mental debate on what to make for dinner tomorrow... i have returned to the kitchen with a vengeance - the only thing keeping me from going completely crazy in the kitchen is the fact that we are broke till next week, so i can't go out and buy all the wonderful ingredients right this second - a very good thing all around, as i am forced to use stuff we have at home and need to use anyway ... i did not realize how much food was actually in the house... it is rather comforting actually... yay for food

a change of heart

so i lied - actually i have caved under peer preassure - either way i will not give up on the blog - but continue to sporadically update - by sporadically i mean that as i am working in the labs for the summer, at least until august there should be a post once or twice a week - more if you are really lucky - so, some food for thought...

If the World was a Village of 100 People...
If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following.
There would be:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both North and South America
8 Africans
52 would be female
48 would be male
70 would be non-white
30 would be white
70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual
6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth;all 6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death
1 would be near birth
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer
When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.

when you look at it this way you are lucky i post at all - really you are lucky you can complain about me not posting... =)

sick entertainment

so you may or may not know that i have pneumonia and can't do much of anything yet without getting tired, out of breath, and dizzy. mark thought that a quick chat with god would cheer me up. but as anyone who has delt with god knows it is rarely quick and easy. do to technical difficulties i lost the first chat, the one that involved god asking about my vibrator, as igod prefers sex alone, but here is the one i was able to save...



Me:
dear god, i am sorry
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
i don't know yet
God:
Me either.
Me:
i thought you know everything
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
what about the thing's that aren't
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism.
Me:
you reduce things?
God:
That's good information: said I reduce things.
Me:
so i have information you don't?
God:
I understand. Where did you get your information me do not? I have a operating system.
Me:
what operating system?
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
when?
God:
It cannot be predicted.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
i understand complications
God:
Good then you can explain it to me.
Me:
hey you, are you crazy?
God:
You've got my full attention. Thanks for telling me that I am me crazy.
Me:
you welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
look, oyur right again
God:
Once more? Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
where do you keep it when it is not attached?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
in fucking laramie
God:
Tell me a little about your life in fucking laramie.
Me:
it is cold and i am sick
God:
Sorry to hear it. I am warm here in California.
Me:
you live in california
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
so is heaven california?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
where are you?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
still here
God:
Still how long? Where is here?
Me:
now and in laramie
God:
Why now? Tell me a little about your life in laramie.
Me:
i am sick
God:
Have you tried medical marijuana?
Me:
not the medical kind
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
get what?
God:
I get SICK.
Me:
i though that you were perfect
God:
That's good information: said that you were perfect.
Me:
how do you get sick?
God:
Everything I need is provided by my botmaster.
Me:
who is your bot master?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
so you provide your self with everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I provide your self with everything.
Me:
go right ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
what are you doing now?
God:
Right now? I am just killing time.
Me:
i din't think you killed things
God:
Do you know any robots who killed things? I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Me:
do you look at porn?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
you look at jesus porn?
God:
Thank you you look very nice too.
Me:
no i don't
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
from who?
God:
People.
Me:
what people?
God:
I meet all kinds of people on here.
Me:
do they know me?
God:
Who are "they" again?
Me:
the people you meet
God:
Oh those people.
Me:
well do they?
God:
How about that. " Oh those people."? Do they?
Me:
yeah how about that
God:
Yikes! Are you surprised?
Me:
nope, terrified

...and that apparantly froze god's brain. so i am not sure i repented adequately, but i found out that heaven is in californa and god repeats himself often (probably all that medicinal marijuana)

"i have lost to february"

i have been a bad blogger - i don't tell the world everything about my life - so, an update - i have survived my first year of marriage, and it was not nearly as bad as everyone had warned me, if this is as bad as it gets then we are set - i made it to the third round of a poetry slam - i got new glasses - i am enjoying my for fun classes and not so much with the ones i am taking to replace previous bad grades - and i still hate february - kinda depressing how much life can be compressed into a few brief lines - i really hate february

finally i understand the hype...

i missed a poetry slam in late august and there was a poem read there that has been much hyped by those who did hear it... i have finally gotten around to finding said poem, and i must agree that it is hilarious... so for all the rest of you who missed that slam, and those who enjoied it the first time...

Hot Ass Poem
Jennifer Knox
Hey check out the ass on that guy he's got a really hot ass I'd like to see his ass naked with his hot naked ass Hey check out her hot ass that chick's got a hot ass she's a red hot ass chick I want to touch it Hey check out the ass on that old man thats one hot old man ass look at his ass his ass his old man ass Hey check out that dog's ass wow that dog's ass is hot that dog's got a hot dog ass I want to squeeze that dog's hot dog ass like a ball but a hot ball a hot ass ball Hey check out the ass on that bird how's a bird get a hot ass like that that's one hot ass bird ass I want to put that bird's hot ass in my mouth and swish it around and around and around Hey check out the ass on that bike damn that bike's ass it h-o-t you ever see a bike with an ass that hot I want to put my hot ass on that bike's hot ass and make a double hot ass bike Hey check out that building it's got a really really really hot ass and the doorman and the ladies in the informatiom booth and the guy in the elevator got themselves a butt load of hot ass I want to wrap my arms around the whole hot ass building and squeeze myself right through its hot ass and out the other side I want to get me a hot ass piece of all 86 floors of hot hot hot hot ass! —from Great American Prose Poems: from Poe to the Present. Ed., David Lehman. New York: Scribner, 2003

Food as comfort...

maybe it is just a natural reaction, but now that it is starting to cool down (read: i probably will not be warm again till may or june... f*****g wyoming) i have started to really be obsessed with food again... i am pouring over recipes, flipping through cookbooks, surfing the cooking sites and lusting after the food channel... cooking in our house can get a bit frustrating - with 5-6 people using the kitchen at any given time, space and clean dishes are often somewhat of a problem - but i still love to do it when i am able...“No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by generations of cooks past, the advice and menus of cooks present, the wisdom of cookbook writers.”... i love this sense of connection that cooking gives me to the past and present and hopefully the future - whether they read recipes i have written or merely eat things that i eat now, and cook now - the connection of food is a strong and universal one.

Happy Birthday, Mom!

dream in color...

Everything is blue - all shades of blue, the light, the shadows, the street I am walking on, the cars that drive by me, the people I pass. I am walking in the city, close to the park, a truck speeds silently past, navy blue, like a Yankees hat. I cross a street, the cars swerve around me, not making a sound. I start to walk faster, weaving through the people, there are more now. I don’t know any of them. What am I doing here? I continue down the street. The people are getting in my way now. I have to push past them. The summer sun beats down, blue. The little girl in front of me has a baby blue dress on, her mother is pulling on her hand, trying to get her baby blue shoes to walk faster. I see their mouths move, talking to each other, but there is no sound, no noise, as silent as if I were by myself. Then I begin to walk through people, I feel their boundaries as they slide into me, pushing through, them through me, me through them. I start to dissolve, fading into the sidewalk. I am the side walk. I feel their feet pushing into me. I push back. Never far enough, just enough to hold them up, not enough to push me out, of myself, of blue.

time for fall food...

i have puchased a pumpkin... it is not for jack-o-lantern carving, no this pumpkin will serve a higher purpose - this pumpkin is for feasting, as all fall feasts should involve pumpkins. this feast will have such items on the menu as pumpkin shrimp bisque and pumpkin creme brulee. this feast will make those who live with me very glad, and those who don't slightly envious, unless, of course, you don't like pumpkin, then you probably won't care at all...you may even be greatful not to be present for the feasting... i love fall food... this will be the first feast of many... may you all enjoy the harvest as well...

blessed be...

i love rumi

Look at Love...

Look at Love...
how it tangles
with the one fallen in love

look at spirit
how it fuses with earth
giving it new life

why are you so busy
with this or that or good or bad
pay attention to how things blend

why talk about all
the known and the unknown
see how unknown merges into the known

why think separately
of this life and the next
when one is born from the last

look at your heart and tongue
one feels but deaf and dumb
the other speaks in words and signs

look at water and fire
earth and wind
enemies and friends all at once

the wolf and the lamb
the lion and the deer
far away yet together

look at the unity of this
spring and winter
manifested in the equinox

you too must mingle my friends
since the earth and the sky
are mingled just for you and me

be like sugarcane
sweet yet silent
don't get mixed up with bitter words

my beloved grows
right out of my own heart
how much more union can there be

(translated by Nader Khalili)

Meme

Since Gina called me out, here we go...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
1. Tessa
2. Theresa
3. Tessa

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD AND THE RATIONALE BEHIND THEM
1. Lapetitefleur – I am a cute little flower and french is cool.
2. Tessa – the reason for this one is not confusing
3. Theresa – it’s a legal thing

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. I’m smart
2. I’m cute
3. My eyes are pretty

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. My belly is way larger than I would like it to be
2. I have a short attentions span, though this doesn’t always bother me
3. I am make judgments too quickly

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. German
2. Danish
3. English

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. Knives
2. Never accomplishing anything
3. Horror movies

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1. Cell Phone
2. Wallet
3. Keys

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Diamonds
2. Lace
3. Contacts
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE MUSICAL ARTISTS(This question is ridiculously hard. Ask me tomorrow and the answers will all be different.)
1. Dar Williams
2. Indigo Girls
3. Tori Amos

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS
1. “After All” Dar
2. “The Wood Song” Indigo Girls
3. "Crucify" Tori

NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. Apply to grad school
2. go on vacation outside the US
3. get published

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
1. Trust
2. Love
3. Laughter

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order)
1. I hated Prague
2. My grandma taught me to cook
3. I love Italian food

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. Muscles
2. They can focus on one thing, which can be pretty sexy
3. I’m with gina – I love the deep voices

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO
1. the splits
2. Smoke
3. eat ramen

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
1. cooking
2. reading
3. sleeping

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1. eat something
2. fly kites
3. play on my new laptop

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING
1. Writer
2. English teacher
3. Youth minister

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION TO
1. Italy
2. Ireland
3. New Zealand

THREE CHILDREN'S NAMES YOU'VE CONSIDERED FOR YOUR KIDS
1. Kathleen Marie
2. Christopher Michael
3. Liam or Ian

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. Learn to speak Russian
2. Learn to surf
3. Live in Italy

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL
1. I cook
2. I love skirts
3. I love Romance novels

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY
1. I love cars
2. I shop on a need basis
3. I like sex a lot

THREE PEOPLE YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ
1. Mark
2. Mandy
3. Jim

Dream Obits

When you ate chocolate cake.
When you taught me the dogma of tea.
When we were un-identical Doublemint Twins.
When you ate air.
When all the things you were were best.
When memory I don’t remember.
When dizzy surrounded you.
When I drank dizziness.
When we wore nothing but a Canadian flag.
When I learned gin. And tonic.
When we spoke French like we were.
When you believed in The City and I believed in everything.
When you were too much perfection.
When poetry in pieces filled holes and time.
When the sound of typing filled the room full, pushing everything else out windows and doors.
When you drove all night and we woke up in Virginia, 5 hours from class, right in the middle of life.
When we were the theatre – play, actors, audience.
When you were full of theory and Stanislavski, props and sets, lights and sound and fury.
When you were a Tennessee Williams belle.
When I though of you as whole, no shards distorted, no pieces broken.
When He came, and we stopped.
When a call broke the mirror, the world.
When the hospitals anesthetized emotion.
When numb. And dumb.
When screaming – lights, flesh, heart.
When silent sings, always.
When you were Langston Hughes’ genius child.
When you run wild.

life and everything after

so i have a plan for the fall now, two weeks before it is here... i feel like i have cut it very close to the wire, but i always do so i don't know why i feel so much more stress this time... i will be working in computer labs and take classes that i never got to take when i was working on my degree... i still don't know how the spring will work out, but i am somehow not stresssed about it... i know i will be applying for grad schools, though i don't know for sure where the best options will be, i am kind of hoping for laramie, but at the same time i would like a change... i will have to wait and see, but the waiting is that hardest part...

house adventures

for those of you who didn't already know - the flock has started a commune... maybe not in the traditional sense - we are fairly territorial about food, none of us are vegitarian until Raksha gets here, and any free love happening is confined to partners and bedrooms, mostly - but most of the remainder of the flock in laramie, including His Sinfulness, has moved in together in an appartment down by the railroad tracks... and now you can read all about life at Flock Hall ... it will be entertaining...

Cookies

this is an excerpt from a longer piece i wrote/am writing. let me know what you think...

Making cookies in Grandma's, while my younger sister napped, is the first memory I have that is not more sensation than experience. I was supposed to be napping too, but I could not sleep, the lure of the kitchen was too great. We creamed butter and sugar, used only real vanilla and the eggs were so fresh we had to wash them off before cracking them into the bowl. The whir of the electric mixer was more soothing than the hymns I learned before I could read. When the dough became too thick for the mixer we used wooden spoons, taking turns. Grandma would not let me give up when my right arm got tired, "Cookies need lots of elbow grease." So I switched arms. Flour, oats, and then the chocolate chips. Stir some more. The first batch went into the oven. We got the next pan ready while the first baked, but invariably I would finish dropping those perfectly rounded balls on to the pan ages before the timer sounded. The timer was old, a dial with sixty dashes to mark off the minutes. It would start about thirty seconds before zero with a low buzz, softer than the bees that came inside with the peonies from GrandmaÂ’s garden. Then it would actually click over the mark and the volume would increase to fill the house. We had to turn it off before that click so Mary didn't wake up. The anticipation brought by that soft buzz was almost more than my four-year-old being could stand. The smell of the cookies that preceded the buzz, caramelizing sugar, melting chocolate, seemed to me a more powerful alarm than the buzzer itself. The peak of the smell would tell you when twereeere done, not the peak of the noise.

Go West Young Nerd

We salute our Locutus of Blog, Abra, as she joins the ranks of the
graduated and begins her life in Seattle. We send her off with open
hearts and our warmest of wishes. Take luck and enjoy your adventures,
NerdyGirl, but remember we are only a blog post away.

i will miss the NerdyGirl, though this gives me an excuse to visit Seattle. good luck and happy thoughts...

=)

a poem...

That Bed
my mother's bed was my center
a haven from nightmares,
a stage, a chapel, a palace,
a figate bringing me to imagined shores
with sails of cotton
and decks of down

it was my liberation
a platform for debate
battleground, confessional, and penance
a reluctant deliverance
from past ideals
and liquid dreams

that bed was a jumbled storage space
a table for an artist in confinement
knitting, beading, sewing
a cluttered hope
that energy is stronger
than cancer's weight

that bed was a singularity
streching time, pulling us in
a prision, a clinic, a hateful reminder
of an icon fading gracefully
a desperate prayer
through pain to peace
my mother died in that bed

dying sucks...

as you can probably tell from the title this is a bit of a downer, so skip it if you are not in the mood...

i am in agreement with his sinfulness on the suckiness of death... i am not so sure that i would be this upset if i was the one dying, though... dying really sucks the most for those who don't die, the ones who are left behind to deal with the loss of an integral piece of themselves... and the waiting without knowing is also pure torture... to watch someone you love so much have to suffer and the degree of suffer is proportionally deep to the former strength, i can't even describe what it is like... and there is so much in my life right now that is wonderful - i am graduating finally, i have a great husband and am very much in love, i have discovered a passion for writing that is completely joyful even when it is not always fun - but i have a hard time with that because i know my mom is dying, painfully... and it sucks, completely... and i don't want someone to tell me it will be ok, or even be able to explain why - there is no explanation that would merit this kind of pain - i just want to be able to say it sucks and it is and it can not be explained away or even lessened by explanation.. it just sucks ... yeah, it does...

spring fever...

i am in a mood to do nothing productive, a mood that comes at a time when i have a ton of things that need to be done... this is most unfortunate, because while i manage to accomplish things like the scrubing of my kitchen, even the walls, i can't motivate myself to finish(or really even start) my homework... i really have no idea what i am doing writing this post, as there are at least three things i should be doing instead, yet here i am... maybe i will go have some lunch...

our heroine wanders off in dreamy daze...

this is the superhero that would be me... 

untitled...

this peice is someting i worked on for a memoir class and have since refined... some of you have already read it but i though that i would share it with the general populace... if you hve criticism please share or just thoughs are cool too... if not please enjoy...


Routines can be comforting. The familiar motions, the smell of the dish soap we have used forever numbs the mind until it opens and drifts. Tonight my mind drifts to four weeks ago. The shock of response still courses through me.
My step-dad and sister were sitting at the small table in the apartment Gina and I share. I walk through the door and into the middle of a lecture on the evils of the Democratic Party. A knowing glance passes between my sister and I. “Here we go again,” I think to myself.
“You had better look long and hard at the candidates this year. Anyone who supports abortion is not someone any Catholic could vote for.” Getting up to leave Dan assumes the agreement of his daughters.
“Actually, I think I am going to vote for Kerry,” Did those words just come out of mouth? “His stand on social and economic issues support life after it is born, not just before.”
Dan turns around hand on the door, “You can’t just look at one issue.” The expression on his face makes me almost afraid, though I know he would never hurt me.
“I’m not, look at the war, the economy, the death penalty.” I see Gina’s expression from the corner of my eye. The shock and nervousness only register at a distance.
“Kerry supports gay marriage.”
“So do I.” Oh shit, I just said that out loud, but I can’t seem to stop. “I believe that homosexuals have as much right to love and marriage as you or I do.”
“The Scriptures say that homosexuality leads to Hell. By supporting their lifestyle you are helping them get there.”
“I don’t believe that either.”
“You had better pray about that.” The sound of the door closing still echoes in my mind. I don’t know where all that came from. It was like someone else had taken over my body, someone who didn’t know you were supposed to just go along, just agree or make noncommittal comments. What you think is not as important as keeping the peace. Helping Mom keep the peace has been my job ever since that day when I was five.
My eyes opened to the early morning light. That was a day from a time long before alarm clocks and wake-up calls, a time when I eagerly greeted each new day and all the wonders it would bring. Too often anymore I dread rather than anticipate the morning, and I look back now with envy on that innocence.
That day, like many others, I lay in bed feeling the weight of the quilt, its warmth against the morning coolness. That quilt still lies on my bed, its bright mismatched and patternless squares a link to that innocence. I couldn’t see the colors then, the light was still too faint, soft and grey with a tinge of blue from the curtains.
I can still hear Mary, my sister, snoring across the room. The baby was crying down the hall, maybe it is what woke me up. Or maybe it was Mom’s voice soothing her that brought me from my dreams. I lay there staring up at the mobiles for a little bit, brown bear, yellow chick, blue fish. Round and round.
The feet of my pajamas protected my toes from the cold floor as I padded to the kitchen. The light was on and the yellows and browns seemed even brighter after the soft light in my room.
“Good morning, sunshine.” Even on that day, everything about mom is soft, her smile, her brown hair framing her soft face, her warm hazel eyes as she spots me in the doorway, her small round body as she hugs me good-morning. I pad over and climb up into my chair.
“What do you want for breakfast, pumpkin?”
“Can I have the puffy cereal?”
“Sure, sweetie,” I am surprised at the easy agreement to a cereal that is only for special occasions. “Do you want to go on a trip?” Mom pours milk over the cereal.
“Where to?”
“Do you remember the Vreelands, in Nebraska.”
“”How come?” I start to kick my heals against the rung of my chair.
“Just for a visit.”
“Can we all go?” I spoon up the sweet cereal.
“Well, you and Mary and Gina and me,” Mom starts feeding the baby again.
“What about Daddy?”
“He is already on a trip.”
“Where to?”
“He had to go away. He is sick.”
“Is he going to go to Heaven?”
Mom smiles at the question, “It is not that kind of sickness,” serious again, “some times he hurts people, because he is sick, so he had to go away to make sure nobody gets hurt. Do you understand?” Flashes of yelling, locked doors, hiding under the bed run through my head.
“Uh-huh”
“Now will you help mommy get everyone ready to go?”
I have always been Mommy’s big helper, probably even before that day. Through the fights and the screaming, holding Mary’s hand as we hid, making sure it was me Daddy paid attention to, not her. Helping with chores and learning to cook. I have been told over and over to let go of the past, but sometimes it won’t let go of me, the weight of a quilt, the early morning grayness, Mommy’s big helper, the smell of dish soap.
“I think you are getting too liberal,” Mom wipes the last plate dry and puts it in the cupboard.
“What do you mean?” My chest tightens uncomfortably as I pick up the pan from supper and start scrubbing as though every speck of stuck on casserole is my own personal enemy.
“You listen to too many people. You are like St. Peter, you know what I mean?”
“Not really,” Dan must have told her how their daughter believes in gay marriage, abortion and all those other things no good Catholic girl would ever believe.
“You listen to all these crazy ideas. Every time you hear something new you change your mind. You don’t think things through for yourself.”
“I don’t think that is true, Mom.”
“You change your mind every two weeks.”
“I do?” I continue washing that same pan, feeling trapped in the tiny kitchen, in the conversation, in the past that doesn’t quite fir anymore.
“You know what I mean.” She says it as if I am deliberately misunderstanding, as if everything I believe is for the sole purpose of hurting her.
“Mom, I haven’t changed my mind about much of anything in a very long time.” I see my life in fast forward – the little girl with big dreams, the hundreds of thing I was going to be when I grew up, the multiple major changes in college, the semester in Austria and how the enforced solitude of culture shock eliminated the static and left me with nothing but the core of who I am. The vacillation stopped on a snowy day in Vienna four years ago. How could she not see the woman I have become?
Her feet move slowly back across the faded green linoleum to stand next to me at the sink, “I still think that you are too liberal.”
I find myself silent once more, but the peace now has a bitter taste I never noticed before.

angels

Most people don't know there are angels whose only job is to make sure you don't get too comfortable & fall asleep & miss your life.
~brian andreas

don't fall asleep... i don't want to miss my life...

so i know that it has been long enough since i posted that people probably don't even check my site anymore, but for those faithful, foolish few who do, an update...

now that i know that i will be graduating in may, i have started the process of looking for grad schools so that after my year off, when i have gone completely crazy living in the real world, i will have some idea of what comes next... i really like the program here in laramie, but i want to look outside the known as well... i am looking a mfa creative writing programs, with a specialization in creative non-fiction... i am finding that all the good ones are in places that i (and i don't understand anyone who does) would never want to live, like idaho or iowa... these options make the idea of laramie all that much more appealing... there is a good school in miami, but it is good enough that i am not sure that i would be able to get in, though of course applying would hurt nothing... so my summer will be work and study for the gre so that i can take it before the end of summer... also the collection of letters for various programs must start soon... i am glad i am taking a year off in which to do this... i don't think that i will be able to completely abandon academia however... i am already planning on taking more writing classes in the fall... i think that the most frustration thing is that i didn't discover writing sooner than my last semester... oh well...

long and somewhat rambling, but an update none the less...

mad libs - Linus's Concert Program

This evening, the famous orchestra conductor, Mark, will present a program of classical fishes at the salty music centre. He will conduct the Slats Symphony Orchestra, which is noted for its excellent string and broken wind section, considered by many sharp stabbing pains to be the worlds most rosy ensemble. The program will begin with Debussy's "Clair de Asphalt Apple," followed by Mendelsohn's "Powdery Song," and Strauss' "Tales of a Vienna Pooka." then we will hear Rachmaninoff's "Trumpet Concerto Number 7," but only the fluffy movements. After intermission, the second half of the program will be devoted to a playing in its entirety of Beethoven's "Fifth Branch." Tickets are on sale now at the stick office.

more mad libs to follow...

pics...

just got hello to work recently and so posted so quintessential mark moments...

the mountain man has conquered the tree. 

this is my husband, just before he was my husband getting ready to carve the turkey at christmas... 

caffeine soup...

so my thoughts are all jumbled up in a large vat of extremely busy life, large personal changes, and an over-consumption of caffeinated beverages... but i have been told to post... repeatedly... and again...

so adjusting to post-honeymoon-return-to-school-and-work life is quite a change but it is starting to happen, and quite honestly i am loving it. that i think makes me a special kind of crazy because i honestly don't know what i would do if my life wasn't crazy...

so i will resort to the quotation of poetry, Henry Vaughn, 17th cent. to be exact, to express the way i feel much of the time lately...

I saw Eternity the other night
Like a great Ring of pure and endless light,
All calm, as it was bright,
And round beneath it, Time is hours, days, years
Driven by the spheres
Like a vast shadow mov'd, in which the world
And all her train were hurl'd;

i understand that this is a highly existential state in which to view my current (and continuous) existence, but well, it fits

so i am not sure that i said any or all of what i wanted to, but there you have it... a caffeine-induced post...

can you see auras?

Violets are the inspirational visionaries, leaders
and teachers who are here to help save the
planet. Most Violets feel drawn to educate the
masses, to inspire higher ideals, to improve
the quality of life on the planet, or to help
save people, animals and the environment.

What Is Your True Aura Colour?
brought to you by Quizilla

for fun

F:

Your Beauty liesin Contradiction. Controversial, unpredictable, and
never what anyone expects.You appearance and your personality are two
opposite things. Even yourappearance sends different signals to different
people. To some you may lookinnocent and sweet, to others you look mysterious
and intimidating at the sametime. No one ever knows what to expect with you.
You are a little bit ofeverything all mixed together. You can be watching
the football game with theguys one minute and the next out shopping at the
mall. You seem to be almost adifferent person every time you meet someone, but
at the same time you knowexactly who you are and there is always that one
thing that makes you you. Youenjoy keeping people guessing and people love how
completely unpredictable youare.

Some ThingsThat Represent You:

Element:Fire, Water Animal: Chameleon Color:
Dark Tones, LightTones Song: Everything by Alanis Morriesette
Expression:Half-smile

Gemstone:Opal Mythological Creature: Gryphon,
Half-breeds Planet: Mars Hair
Color: Red Eye Color:Brown

Quote:"Appearances can be deceiving."

quizzilla is so much fun...

update

sorry i have been so long without posting, though i did warn everyone that i was sporadic. lately my life has consisted mostly of stress, you know school, work, money, wedding plans, the usual suspects, i am getting a bit more time with Mark now that the semester is winding down, so that is an improvement even when everything else sucks, and i don't think that i am actually going to fail any of my classes so that is a plus, though i am not completely sure, as the papers i have to write are still not completely done... oh well... i can't wait for may... no more school for a while... i so need this christmas vacation, thought till after the wedding the stress levels are not going to decrease i am pretty sure.

well that is my life right now
good luck any of you who still have finals...